kaeyli
kaeyli
feeling cool in fashionbrandcompany pinafore and piatori_sample top
63
Fantasy was fed to me on a daily basis through television, movies, music, religion - the vision of a life I was told I needed to realize to become whole.
In my last reel's caption, I spoke to my belief in the power of fantasy. Today, I'm reflecting on the ways in which a fantasy can sometimes function to disempower, too.
Something I've grown to understand in recent years is how much of my earliest fantasy-making was built on me becoming the fantasy.
Being born with two sets of lips, I was to learn what it meant to be a woman: warm, gentle, feminine, passive, and ideally beautiful.
I experienced a lot of tension in this prescription of self. And I've spent years grappling with what of this fantasy I've learned to become is true to me, and how much of it might just be truer to my desire to be loved, valued, and cared for.
While I no longer believe my ability to receive love and care is dependent on my ability to perform the wholeness I was prescribed upon birth, my success in maintaining material security is still very much so predicated on it.
In many ways, I am lucky. Much of the time, this performance is not so far from myself. Much of the time, I enjoy the opportunity to step into some expression of me I might not otherwise have the incentive to lean into.
The contradictions, the spectacle - sometimes t
63blssmbillie is certified neat
feeling cool in fashionbrandcompany pinafore and piatori_sample top
2 years ago
I grew up on fantasy. Often times, the fantasy of better. A better nation. A better world. A better life.
Fantasy was fed to me on a daily basis through television, movies, music, religion - the vision of a life I was told I needed to realize to become whole.
In my last reel's caption, I spoke to my belief in the power of fantasy. Today, I'm reflecting on the ways in which a fantasy can sometimes function to disempower, too.
Something I've grown to understand in recent years is how much of my earliest fantasy-making was built on me becoming the fantasy.
Being born with two sets of lips, I was to learn what it meant to be a woman: warm, gentle, feminine, passive, and ideally beautiful.
I experienced a lot of tension in this prescription of self. And I've spent years grappling with what of this fantasy I've learned to become is true to me, and how much of it might just be truer to my desire to be loved, valued, and cared for.
While I no longer believe my ability to receive love and care is dependent on my ability to perform the wholeness I was prescribed upon birth, my success in maintaining material security is still very much so predicated on it.
In many ways, I am lucky. Much of the time, this performance is not so far from myself. Much of the time, I enjoy the opportunity to step into some expression of me I might not otherwise have the incentive to lean into.
The contradictions, the spectacle - sometimes t
2 years ago